


They Can't Take That Away From Me

by BlainelovesKurt



Category: Glee, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Stucky - Fandom, klaine - Fandom
Genre: 1940s, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bucky recovering, Crossover, First Time Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, M/M, Married Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Mutual Pining, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Sort Of, Stucky focus, Virgin Steve Rogers, Virgin bucky barnes, playwright!Kurt Hummel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:00:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26569954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlainelovesKurt/pseuds/BlainelovesKurt
Summary: Glee and Marvel are in the same universe and In 2015, Kurt and Blaine from Glee moved into Steve and Bucky's old apartment from the 40s. They find Steve's private sketches and letter from Bucky. Kurt and Blaine decide to do something with them. Bucky a year after Winter Soldier hears about it and responds accordingly.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	They Can't Take That Away From Me

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is mostly Stucky... if you don't know Klaine, it might be useful to just imagine them as OC to read. This cannot be done to Stucky. Klaine sort of disappears around the 5000 word mark.
> 
> The following people helped with this fic in no particular order @roxymusicandlayers , @official-impravidus , and @lucy8675309 all over at Tumblr

"Well, it's not the loft." Kurt sighed, looking around the dated style studio apartment at 569 Leaman Place. The kitchen had some updates along with various fixtures here and there, but the early 20th century structure was the same, if not painted over with some discount cans of dull paint.

"I bet we could make it look really nice!" Blaine said, grinning. He had a sparkle in his eye when he looked at Kurt.

"I know you're right, but it still really sucks I lost the loft when we all moved out of New York."

Blaine drew Kurt into a hug. "I know. But now we can make this place our home. Our own little paradise."

"Now that I'm thinking about it… I’m already thinking of all kinds of design ideas!” Kurt informed him, “I put everything in storage when I moved out of town. Do you remember the name of professional movers Mercedes hired last year?” 

* * *

“Well it’s not perfect, but it's home.” Bucky remarked looking around at the dilapidated state of their new apartment. A rat scurried past his feet.

“It’s a better state than your face.” Steve croaked out before covering his mouth with his fist and coughing into it. “At least the radiators new.” He pointed at it from his mouth.

Bucky banged on Steve’s back. “That don’t sound good”

“I’m fine,” Steve said with another cough. “You’re worse than my ma sometimes, Buck.”

His heart dropped. A wave of pain rang through Steve’s chest and arms when he realized what he said. It had only been a few short weeks since her funeral. 

“I could never give Sarah a run for her money, punk.” Bucky punched Steve’s arm, trying to lighten the mood. “That said, go lay down.”

“I told you I’m fine. I’m not sick,” Steve denied, standing up straight to prove his stubborn point. 

"Sick or not, we don't want that cough turning bad." 

* * *

Kurt and Blaine went out for a coffee while they waited for the movers to arrive.

Kurt took a sip of his mocha as he absently held Blaine’s hand across the table. 

“When did you say the cube with your stuff was arriving?” Kurt asked, setting his cup down and stealing a bit of biscotti off Blaine’s plate.

“Should be here by Friday.” Blaine confirmed “It wasn’t as expensive as last time when it had to go to Ohio.”

Kurt flushed remembering Blaine frantically trying to get all his stuff without looking at him all those months ago. 

“Well I should hope not. It was last minute last time,” Kurt said guiltily suddenly interested in arranging the sugar packets so they lay in a straight line.

“Hey, it's in the past,” Blaine soothed. “We’re married now.” 

Kurt smiled squeezing Blaine’s hand. “I still can’t believe we are married.” 

* * *

“Stay down, you fairy!” The man yelled frustrated.

He’d backed Steve into an alley to issue a beating.

Steve got up and wiped his nose. He put his fists up. “I can do this all day.”

The man threw another punch, but Steve dodged and followed up with a punch to the other man’s stomach. 

“Stop fighting back, you queer.” The man winced, throwing another punch, but he was stopped by a hand.

“Hey! Pick on someone your own size,” Bucky said annoyed. He threw the man backwards and landed a punch on his face. 

The man tried to return the punch but Bucky just pushed him away. After a few more attempted punches with Bucky returning them, the man got the hint and left.

“I had him on the ropes, Buck,” Steve reassured

“Do I even want to know what started this fight?”

“You know I don’t like bullies,” Steve explained, rubbing his nose to wipe more blood away. “He was pressuring this dame that clearly had no interest.” Steve paused and lowered his voice. “I think she was _with_ this other dame.”

Bucky put his arm around Steve’s neck and led him out of the alley. “Two dames? You serious?”

“That’s what it looked like,” Steve confirmed

“Well I’ll be damned.” Bucky grinned, but then looked at Steve’s still bleeding nose. “Hold still.” 

Bucky inspected Steve’s nose carefully. “Doesn’t look broken. Tip your head up, it’ll help”

* * *

_Smash!_

“Dang it! The landlord is going to kill us,” Blaine swore 

“The wall was already crumbling, Blaine. I doubt he’s going to notice much of a difference,” Kurt reassured, looking at the hole they made in the wall from the couch. They’d just started arranging the furniture after the movers had left.

“It’s pretty noticeable, Kurt.” Blaine inspected the whole, prodding it with his finger. 

Kurt came to look as well. 

“We could patch this up,” Kurt said, a little uncertain. “YouTube has to have a tutorial, especially after the Battle of New York. A lot of people had to do patch work”

“I bet it must have been so cool seeing Captain America and Thor in action!” Blaine gushed 

“I wasn’t actually in Manhattan when the aliens attacked. I was running an errand for Isabelle,” Kurt explained. “When I got back there was a hole in the building where Vogue.com is.”

“Kurt, You never told me that,” Blaine said, shocked, pulling Kurt into his arms.

“Well I’m glad I wasn’t there to say the least. Everyone was fine, but—” Kurt sighed as he thought back to that day. 

“But it still would have been scary,” Blaine finished

Kurt leaned into Blaine and relaxed letting Blaine hold him close for a few minutes. 

His focus changed when a bit of light caught the hole.

“Wait a second. Blaine? What is that?” Kurt asked curiously, pulling away and reaching into the hole.

Kurt’s fingers hit metal.

He brought his other hand into the hole and with both hands brought out a metal box. 

It looked beat up, rusted and the latch was barely holding it shut. 

“Hidden Treasure.” Blaine grinned “Who would have thought.” 

Kurt smiled back “What do you think it is?” 

“A time capsule?” Blaine guessed

“Well let’s see,” Kurt replied, walking over to their table to set it down and open it. 

Blaine followed curiously

Kurt gently pulled the latch out of place and opened the box carefully, mindful of how fragile it seemed. Inside were a stack of papers, yellowed with age. Kurt picked up the first paper and began to read outloud

_Dear Steve,_

_You’re taking good care of yourself and not getting into too many fights? It’s probably hoping for too much with the fight biz. There was no stopping when I was there, how am I supposed to get through to you now._

_I know in your last letter you said you still were trying to join me. I wish you would stop Steve. It’s not sunshines and rainbows over here. And I know you’ve got a hero complex, but these are bigger bullies than you’ve ever faced. And maybe I don’t want you to fight this one. Let me._

_That sketch of Becca is great, but the men seemed to think she was my best girl. I had to correct them and one of them had the audacity to ask for it. I nearly hit him. How about this time you send me a self portrait, so I can see your ugly mug?_

_My watch is nearly over so I better wrap this up and get ready to go to bed. Stay safe, punk._

_Bucky_

“What is that doing in our wall?” Blaine asked amazed “And how long has it been in there?” 

“What do you mean?” Kurt asked, confused.

“Don’t you remember history class, Kurt? Steve, Bucky, Becca,” Blaine explained excitedly. “That’s probably Rebecca Barnes.”

“You don’t mean?” Kurt flipped the page over and then looked at a few more of the papers.

He looked at a sketch and his breath caught in his throat. 

He knew that face from his textbooks. 

James Buchannan Barnes. Life long friend of Steve Rogers. 

And that meant. That meant this letter was to Captain America. 

“I knew they weren’t just friends!” Kurt said in delight. “Take that, Mrs. Hagberg!”

Blaine laughed leaning into Kurt’s shoulder. “That’s right. You did write a paper trying to convince her they were gay.”

“And I got a D!” Kurt said in offense. “She said it wasn’t believable, like gay people weren’t invented yet.”

“She wasn’t a very good teacher,” Blaine agreed. 

They went silent as they looked through all the letters and sketches.

“Captain America can really draw,” Blaine commented after about five minutes. 

Blaine was referring to a sketch of Bucky Barnes shirtless with his eyes closed with a relaxed smile on his face. Steve's signature was on the bottom. The wall behind Bucky lined up exactly with the wall in the living room.

* * *

Steve's pencil flew across his sketch trying to commit the image to paper.

Bucky was lounging shirtless on the couch with his eyes closed relaxing. 

"What are you drawing, punk?" Bucky asked lazily, one eye open to look over at Steve 

"It's private, jerk," Steve said absently as he shaded Bucky's eyes. 

Sometimes Bucky was too gorgeous to fully capture, but he would always try. 

"If you say so," Bucky smiled, closing his eyes again and stretching. "I thought it might be one of those advertisements you'd been working on."

"I finished that earlier," Steve informed as he started shading Bucky's lips. The same lips he longed to know how they felt against his own. 

“Well in that case, go get ready, we’re going dancing,” Bucky said, sitting up and opening his eyes.

“So I can watch all the dames fawn over you? No thanks, Buck.” Steve didn’t look up from his drawing. 

“I’m sure we can find you a dame,” Bucky said with a confident grin. “You’re quite the looker.”

Steve glared at Bucky. “Shut up. I’m not that bad looking.”

“That’s the spirit!” Bucky continued grinning at Steve as he stood up and came over to ruffle Steve’s hair.

Steve quickly hid the sketch he’d been working on before Bucky could see it. 

“Stop doing that,” Steve said, irritated. “I’m not five” 

* * *

Several weeks after finding the sketches and letters, Kurt could not get them out of his head.

He had to do something with them. 

He’d mentioned them to Rachel and she seemed to think that he needed to leak them to the press for the fame it would bring Blaine and him. 

It seemed like a cruel thing to do, leaking the sketches. What if Captain America didn’t want anyone else to see his beloved like that?

No, he couldn’t leak them. 

On the New Direction group skype, they all had different ideas of what should be done with them.

Santana told them to sell them to the highest bidder. 

Several others agreed with the idea. But ultimately Kurt and Blaine rejected that idea.

Truthfully they wanted to somehow give them back to Captain America.

Finally they decided exactly what they would do.

Kurt would write a play about Captain America and his James “Bucky” Barnes. It would be all about their tragic love story that ended too soon.

They’d omit the sketches, but use the letters.

Hopefully Captain America would see the play to remember his fallen lover and they’d be able to return the papers to him.

* * *

Steve was proud of what he'd scrounge up for dinner. He'd gotten a bonus for his last advertisement and their dinner reflected that. In fact, they'd be eating good for a week with how pleased the store owner had been with him. 

The bonus had all been food, but they’d spend most of it on that anyhow. 

Steve was stirring their stew, which actually contained meat for the first time that he could remember in recent times, when Bucky came through the door.

"Honey, I'm home!" Bucky said teasingly when he saw Steve cooking away

He brought with him the smell of the docks.

"You stink!" Steve smiled waving his hand over his face to push the stink away 

"Lemme go change and I'll help you," Bucky said

“I’d rather you had a bath,” Steve said, looking away from the food for a minute to get a look at Bucky. 

“If I take a bath now, the water will be too cold for you by the time you’re ready.” Bucky pointed out. “And we both know what cold bath water does to your lungs.”

“Fine,” Steve conceded. “I need you to go get some ice anyhow. We’ve got food that can’t spoil.”

Bucky’s gaze finally made it way to the table. 

“Where’d you get all this stuff?” Bucky asked amazed

“Happy customer,” Steve said proudly. “I still can’t believe he gave me meat.” 

“Art schools paying off, ain’t it?” Bucky said as he sorted through the food. 

* * *

Kurt went on a deep dive into Captain America to write his play. He wanted to get everything right. 

There wasn’t much information from before the War, but he knew where to look to prove Captain America’s attraction to his best friend. After all he did write a paper on it in high school. You just had to read between the lines of historical sources. 

The best source was the interviews from the Howling Commandos. They never explicitly said that Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were together, but it was hard to believe they didn’t know about them.

* * *

The radiator was acting up and Steve was coming down with another cold. It was the middle of February and the snow was coming down hard, keeping the temperature low. 

They were both nestled deep under the covers of their bed with Steve laying against Bucky’s chest. They’d removed their shirts because Bucky insisted it would make them both warmer. 

Bucky pulled Steve closer to him as Steve’s teeth chattered.

Bucky looked down into Steve’s eyes. He was transfixed over how beautiful they were. And of course he’d noticed before. But he usually didn’t let himself be in this situation with Steve, if he could help it. He’d been in love with him since he was seventeen when Steve was in another one of his fights and Steve said something stupidly reckless.

He found himself bringing his mouth down to meet Steve’s, until suddenly Steve let out a loud sneeze, spraying Bucky’s face with mucus. 

Bucky grimaced and wiped away the liquid. 

“Sorry, B- Buck,” Steve said guilty still cold

“It’s not the grossest thing you’ve ever done,” Bucky admitted. “Remember that time you ate that bug on a dare?”

“Your dare.” Steve laughed as put his head on Bucky’s chest

Maybe Steve hadn’t realized what Bucky had almost done. Bucky hoped so. He couldn’t let his feelings get in the way of being Steve’s best friend.

* * *

Once Kurt was done writing his play he brought it NYADA to see if he could perform it there. 

On his way to bring his work to Madame Tibideaux, he walked by a bulletin board. 

As his luck would have it, there was a flyer announcing a contest for playwriting for the Spring Play ending in a few weeks.

He was worried that they wouldn’t even consider him because his major was musical theater not playwriting, but he could always take his play elsewhere if it got rejected. Rachel still had connections on Broadway that could be helpful, even if she did leave prematurely and then end up back at NYADA. 

* * *

When War was declared, Steve wanted to be the first one to sign up. He’d been hearing about what was happening overseas and it just didn’t seem right to him. But when it was Bucky who was called up instead, Steve was devastated. 

It would be different if they were going together, but Steve didn’t want Bucky going overseas alone. 

Still, there was nothing to be done about it, except continue to try to enlist, while Bucky joined the 107th Infantry. It was the same one Steve’s own father had fought and died in during The Great War.

When Bucky went off to training, Steve tried to distract himself with anything while he waited for letters. He even attempted to get a date with a dame. But it was useless without Bucky as his wingman. Plus, he wasn't that interested in any dames in Brooklyn in the first place.

* * *

In the end, Kurt’s script ended up winning.

People couldn’t get enough of the Avengers, especially Captain America. His past in history books usually started when he joined the army. To get a glimpse into what could have been before thrilled the judges.

The auditions would start in a week. 

Unfortunately he could not star in the show like he originally planned because he'd be too busy looking to see if Captain America showed up, so he could return the letters and sketches. 

* * *

_Dear Steve,_

_Remember that time we went to Coney Island and we got sick eating too much cotton candy? You puked all over your date and both of em got mad that I was more concerned about you than cleaning up her dress. Why were they wearing dresses anyway? It seems like they should have jumped on the bandwagon with them suffragist you’re so fond of and worn pants to a place like Coney._

_Coffee tastes like shit here. Nothing like what you could get at the automat on the rare time we could afford to waste 10 cents on it for both of us. But it keeps me awake when I’m dead tired, so I guess it's serving its purpose._

_They said I’m going soon. I’ll be coming back to Brooklyn for a few days before I ship out and I get to see your punk face again. Don’t tell my family, I want it to be a surprise._

_See you soon,_

_Bucky_

* * *

It didn’t take long to cast the play.

Rachel had landed the role of Rebecca.

“Don’t you think Rebecca would have more lines, Kurt?” Rachel insisted. “She was probably James’ favorite sister. Don’t you think if Captain America was sending him a picture of her on the front lines!” 

“She isn’t in many scenes, Rachel.” Kurt said annoyed that Rachel was trying to change his play for her own gain. 

“Then why don’t you give me the role of Peggy Carter. At least she gets to have scenes by herself with Captain America” Rachel reasoned

“Sarah Clemmens was a more believable Peggy Carter, Rachel. I don’t know what else to tell you,” Kurt said

“Could you at least yell at _that girl_ playing Winnifried Barnes?” Rachel asked with venom

“I can’t yell at people because they are mean to you,” Kurt told her. “Even if she said you came ‘crawling back to Nyada after your failed tv show’. This is your own battle to fight, Rachel.” 

“It’s not true!” Rachel insisted. “I got into Nyada on my own talent. Both times”

“Okay,” Kurt said. Honestly he was happy for his friend, but it did seem a bit unfair how easy Rachel got accepted the second time. It made sense that people would be annoyed at her. “But I can’t play favorites, Rachel.” 

The roles of the rest of the Barnes family went to two freshmen for Bucky’s siblings and a senior for Mr. Barnes. They were more background parts.

A sophomore named Phillip Wesley would play Steve Rogers and a senior named Ben Thomas played Bucky Barnes. 

They had both nailed their audition and seemed excited to display how a gay couple in the 1940s would have faired and prevailed.

* * *

_Dear Steve,_

_It feels like months since I last saw you, when in reality it might have only been weeks._

_We’ve been eating spam for what feels like every meal, I feel like I’m going to get tired of it real soon. But at least its meat._

_You’re getting my military pay, right? Don’t go trying to give it to my family, Steve. They’ve got enough hands to help them get by. I know you aren’t getting many commissions on account of the war. You’ve got medicine and food to afford._

_I know you can get by on your own, punk. But you don’t have to. And when it comes to your health, I ain’t giving you a choice. I’ve sat at your bedside too many times for you to god forbid keel over while I’m nowhere to be found to curse God into giving you more time._

_How about you send me a sketch, so I have something to remember you by? So I can get that sick idea outta my head._

_Bucky_

* * *

The play was progressing quickly and now it was time to put out the advertisements to the public.

**_Captain America: An early history._ **

It would go out across the internet today and appear in the NYADA Times, the Village Voice and the New York Post tomorrow. It would stay in those papers for the next few weeks until showtime. Then they’d see if anyone else reviewed the play.

* * *

Steve was at Avengers Tower, eating a bowl of cereal deep in thought.

“Captain, I have an alert on Bucky Barnes,” Jarvis spoke

Steve snapped out of his thought, suddenly focused

“Tell me, Jarvis.” 

“New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts presents: _Captain America: An Early History_ starring Phillip Wesley as Steve Rogers and Ben Thomas as Bucky Barnes. Opening April 14th 2015.”

Steve was confused. An early history of himself? It was probably a mess of what ifs with no real accuracies like some of the books that had tried to guess about his life before the war.

Still, Steve had a suspicion that maybe a certain Winter Soldier might be lured there with the promise of information. After all, they’d just missed him at the Smithsonian exhibit and he’s certain that Bucky was the strange man that had accidently broken a computer at a library in DC. Especially when the librarian had mentioned a prosthetic hand being what broke it. 

Steve decided he would go stake out the play for as many days as it took for Bucky to show up. But he’d need back up.

Steve took his phone out and dialed Sam’s number. 

When Sam answered, Steve cut to the chase. 

“I think we’ve got a lead on Bucky.” 

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll explain when you get here,” Steve assured

“Alright I’ll be there soon.” Sam said

Steve pulled out all the file and intel he had on Bucky to go over while he waited for Sam. He was deep into the files when a voice spoke from his side. He jumped.

“I’ve got some intel on Barnes” Natasha spoke from his side

“So do I,” Steve said, “How about we share secrets?”

“You first” Natasha insisted

“I think Bucky might try to show up to this play Jarvis told me about here in New York. It's a story about our lives before the war,” Steve explained. “If he’s still looking for information, he might be interested. However false it most likely is.”

“That might track with my intel,” Natasha agreed. “He was seen crossing the border into the United States from Canada along the New York border.”

“That’s the first sighting in months” Steve said, surprised that his hunch might be true. 

“I’ll get you everything you need to apprehend him without civilian casualties,” Natasha promised 

“I don’t think he’s as much of a threat as you and Sam think he is,” Steve said. “The only danger he’s been all year is to Hydra cells.” 

“We have to treat him like a threat, until we know he’s not,” Natasha reminded 

The elevator dinged and then opened to reveal Sam. 

“You’ve got information on Barnes?” Sam asked as a greeting

Natasha and Steve filled Sam in on what they knew.

“I know he’s your friend Steve, but he's not the same person he was in the 40s,” Sam said once he knew everything they did. 

“That doesn’t mean he’s not worth saving,” Steve told them adamantly 

* * *

_Dear Steve,_

_I notice your letters are coming from New Jersey. What the hell are you doing in New Jersey of all places? Ma told me she hasn’t seen you around much lately either._

_I really like the sketch you sent. It really captures what a stubborn punk you are. I keep it in my sack next to the sketch of Rebecca. Cheers up a fella to see your mug staring back at me when I feel like this war is never gonna end._

_The fellas like to talk about what they’ll do once the war is over. I’d like to think we’ll just go back to how it was before. No need to change a good thing. Besides you don’t seem to be ever growing out of getting sick constantly, and I've got to be there to stop you from fighting with every asshole in New York._

_They’re doing roll call, so I’ve got to go._

_Bucky_

* * *

It was finally opening night and Kurt was excited. His dad had even flown in to see his masterpiece. 

He had the letters and sketches stored in a locked draw in one of the dressing rooms that were unused for this production.

“Nervous?” Blaine asked from his side backstage. 

“I’m just worried Captain America won’t show up,” Kurt said “Maybe we should have sent seats to Avengers Tower. I just thought that might be a bit too presumptuous” 

“It’s only the first day. There’s plenty of time to give them back,” Blaine reassured, then kissed Kurt softly. “It’ll be okay.”

* * *

Steve, Sam and Natasha spread out through the theater, each finding a spot where they could see everyone in their section. 

Sam took the upper level, while Natasha took the right side and Steve, the left. 

On the first day Bucky did not show up, which was good because Steve was distracted. 

This play hit a little too close to home for him. It was almost what he wished his life before the serum was like. But not really. He’d never trade his life with Bucky for anything else, even if it meant he could be with Bucky like that. 

Another issue was that the letters sounded exactly like the ones Bucky sent him just before the serum. 

When the curtain closed, he met back up with Natasha and Sam. 

“I think I’m going to go see if I can meet the writer,” Steve decided, shaken. “Something weird is going on with this play.

Sam looked visibly surprised and Natasha gave him a weird look.

“It’s important.” Steve assured 

“I’ll check the perimeter,” Natasha said, leaving to scan the crowd, in case they somehow missed Bucky.

“I’d want to know why someone thought you weren’t straight too, if I didn’t know you,” Sam nodded. “They’re right about you and Barnes, right?”

“We were never together if that’s what you mean. But they’re right about how I feel about him.” Steve admitted.

“I thought so.” Sam clapped Steve on the back. “Go get your information.” 

Sam went outside the theater to look, while Steve went backstage. 

The stage was bustling with stagehands and actors alike. 

A brunette man he hadn’t seen on stage was just finishing up a speech and they all clinked glasses. 

He waited till everyone had dispersed before he went up to the man.

“There’s always tomorrow, Kurt.” Another man reassured the brunette

“Excuse me,” Steve said, clearing his throat. 

The man whipped around and his mouth fell open in surprise. The other man turned at his voice. 

“See I told you,” he said to the brunette and then spoke to Steve, awe in his voice. “Hello Mr. Captain America!”

“It’s Steve,” Steve said a little warily 

Suddenly the brunette thrust his hand out. “Kurt Hummel, I wrote the production. And this is my husband, Blaine.” 

“Oh. Then you’re exactly who I wanted to see.” Steve said

Kurt hopped slightly in excitement. 

“How do you know what Bucky wrote me?” Steve asked

“We live where you used to,” Kurt explained, getting a little too excited. 

“And we accidentally broke the wall,” Blaine continued, putting his hand on Kurt’s shoulder to calm him. Not that he was faring much better.

“We found an old box with sketches and letters,” Kurt finished taking a deep breath. “It didn’t feel right putting the sketches on display. But we had to get them to you somehow, so I wrote this play and here you are.” 

“I forgot I put those there.” Steve’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe it. He could actually have a piece of his life back that wasn’t on display for the whole world. Yes the letters from Bucky had been aired to the world, but not his private sketches. “Could I have them back?” 

“Of course!” Kurt said rushing off to go get the letters at once.

“You know, I have a superhero alter ego too,” Blaine said “He’s called Nightbird, the Nocturnal Avenger” 

“Oh, Well we need all the help we can get to fight those that threaten the earth.” Steve said diplomatically 

“I’m afraid all Nightbird did was help me through a tough time in high school.” Blaine said, embarrassed that he’d brought up his fake superhero identity in front of an actual superhero. 

“If I didn’t have Bucky in High School, I don’t know where I’d be now,” Steve admitted “We all had our own heroes.”

Kurt returned then and handed him the small bundle of papers, blushing hard. “I’d understand if you want us to shut the show down now that you have the papers.” 

“No, keep it going. I’ve got someone of my own I’m hoping will come,” Steve said not letting on much. These men clearly thought that Bucky was dead, as did the rest of the world. He couldn’t let it slip that Bucky was actually alive and on the run from Hydra and the Avengers.

They exchanged goodbyes and Steve left.

* * *

The second night Bucky didn’t appear, nor did he the third night. Steve was starting the worry by the fourth night that he’d been wrong about Bucky searching for information on his old life. 

But low and behold the fifth night, Bucky appeared almost inconspicuous. 

“I’ve got eyes on Barnes,” Natasha said into her Stark earphones just before showtime.

“What do you want to do, Cap?” Sam asked, his eyes finding Bucky as well.

“Watch me closely, I’m going to try to communicate with him,” Steve said, already moving.

“What are you doing?!” Natasha asked alarmed, she got ready to strike in case Bucky attacked Steve.

“Can I sit here?” Steve asked quietly when he arrived next to Bucky who was sitting on an aisle clearly aware of all the exits. 

“How did you find me?” Bucky asked, not quite surprised as he thought he’d be at seeing Steve. 

“Do you know who I am?” Steve countered as he took a seat, considering Bucky hadn’t tried to bolt. 

“You’re Steve, your ma’s name is Sarah, and you used to put newspapers in your shoes,” Bucky said with a tiny laugh like he was sharing a private joke. 

“That’s right,” Steve confirmed with a grin. “I should probably warn you, this play only got about 50% correct. The rest is just speculation from the writer. It’s bound to confuse you even more.” 

Bucky nodded. “So what happens now?” he asked, deadpan as he looked around the theater and saw Natasha and Sam hiding.

“We can sit here and watch or you can come with me and I’ll clear up whatever you want to know.”

“Do I have a choice?” Bucky asked 

“I’ve been looking for you for a year, Buck,” Steve countered 

“I think I’d like to stay for now,” Bucky said, unsure if Steve would heed his request. “I’ll go willingly after.” 

Natasha scoffed in Steve’s ear, but Steve ignored her.

“That’s okay,” Steve said kindly

* * *

After the play, they waited till everyone else exited the theater and Sam and Natasha met up with them. 

Natasha immediately slapped mechanical cuffs on Bucky’s wrists 

“Is that really necessary?” Steve asked, offended on Bucky’s behalf. “If he was going to do anything he could have done it the whole show!”

“It’s fine,” Bucky said subdued 

Sam led the way out of the theater with Steve walking next to Bucky and Natasha keeping an eye on his back in case he tried something.

The ride back to Avengers Tower was quiet with Sam driving and Natasha glaring at Bucky like he was going to suddenly attack. 

They pulled into the underground garage of Avengers Tower and exited their vehicle. Natasha stayed behind Bucky as they made their way up to Steve’s floor. 

“Jarvis, will you tell Tony we have a guest,” Natasha said when they got out of the elevator. 

“I will tell Sir,” Jarvis responded

Steve led Bucky over to the couch and tried to make him comfortable. Sam followed and sat on an armchair, eyes trained on Bucky. 

“Do you remember me?” Sam asked 

“I think I might have knocked you out of the sky,” Bucky admitted “I’m sorry.” 

“You also wrecked my car,” Sam said accusatory

“I don’t remember that yet.” Bucky sighed, the plates in his metal arm shifting. “It's harder to remember the newer memories”

Steve shot Sam, a patented ‘Captain America isn’t happy with you’ look. 

“We know what happened to you, Bucky,” Steve reassured. “It was all in Shield’s encrypted files.”

Steve wanted to hug Bucky so much, but he knew better than to touch him. Bucky probably hadn’t been touched affectionately in over 70 years. He’d have to wait until Bucky was willing. 

The elevator dinged and Tony Stark walked out. 

“Jarvis says we have a guest?” Tony asked. He walked over to the couch and got a look at Bucky. “Oh. If it isn’t the Manchurian Candidate.” 

“I thought you might want to help question him,” Natasha explained

“Shouldn’t he be down in one of the cells?” Tony asked, eyeing the handcuffs. 

“Does he look like a threat, right now?” Steve asked exasperated 

“Yes.” Tony replied “Maybe if I got the arm off him and took a good look at it.” 

“It’s attached to my spine.” Bucky informed monotone. 

He’d known that something like this would happen if he came in, willingly or not. 

“With a little restraints and Bruce I’d feel safe enough,” Tony said delighted at the thought of seeing what that arm could do.

“Are you out of your mind! You are not restraining him!” Steve said angrily. 

He’d seen the type of things that Hydra had done to Bucky and restraining him would probably make Bucky feel like he was back there. 

“Tony, you can think about the arm later. Let’s just question him,” Sam mediated 

“Fine,” Tony conceded 

Natasha started the questioning off. “What have you been doing for the past year?”

“I’ve been trying to get my memory back,” Bucky said. “And when I remembered where a Hydra cell was located, I took it out.” 

“Do you remember anymore of Hydras goons?” Tony asked 

“I remembered another last week. I planned to take care of them once I left the country again,” Bucky explained. “They’re in Sokovia. But it’s a huge cell. I wasn’t sure if I could take them all out by myself. They had human experiments the last time they took me there.”

“They have more brainwashed people?” Sam asked disturbed 

“They weren’t like me. They were just kids when I saw them last,” Bucky said. “I think they wanted to be there.” 

The Avengers all looked at each other in alarm. 

“Do you know exactly where they are, Bucky?” Steve asked, finally joining the conversation.

“I’ve been using that digital map on the computer to track most of the locations because I remember what it looks like. It takes awhile to find it, but it's better than anything we had back in the 40s,” Bucky explained, then said unsure, “if I remember correctly.”

They interrogated Bucky for a while longer until finally they were all satisfied that Bucky wasn’t keeping anything from them. 

Tony left to go back to his lab after Bucky promised he could look at his arm, as long as he didn’t restrain him. Tony wasn’t completely convinced that was a good idea until Steve said he’d be there as well. There was almost so much the ex-assassin could do with a Hulk, a supersoldier and Iron Man there to stop him. 

Natasha removed the handcuffs soon after. 

“You can leave us alone. He’s not going to hurt me,” Steve reassured “Right, Buck?”

“I don’t plan to,” Bucky said matter factly 

“See,” Steve said

“Jarvis is watching,” Natasha told Bucky and threatened. “If you so much as try to attack Steve, we’ll all be up here in seconds and you’ll be in a cell.” 

Nonetheless, Natasha left them to their devices. 

“Once Clint gets here, we’re going to need to have a group meeting about Sokovia,” Sam said before taking his leave. 

Steve nodded. 

Once everyone was gone, Steve turned to Bucky. “Are you hungry?” 

“I can usually go 30 hours without eating,” Bucky replied

“That’s not healthy, Bucky,” Steve worried. 

He stood up and made Bucky a sandwich. He handed it to Bucky who just stared at it. 

“Would it help if I ate with you?” Steve asked, already getting up to make his own sandwich. 

Steve came back and sat next to Bucky. He took a bite of his food, but noticed Bucky still just staring at the food. 

"C'mon Bucky, I can't eat if you don't," Steve tried. "Just like when we were kids." 

"I thought it was the other way around," Bucky finally said with a slight smile, the monotone in his voice finally breaking. "You refusing food when you were sick."

"That's right," Steve agreed, returning Bucky's smile.

Bucky took a bite of his sandwich. "I haven't been eating much food this year. Most of its been from trash cans" 

Steve resisted the urge to touch Bucky’s shoulder. “You can have all the food you want now. Anytime you want it.”

Bucky grimaced and then yawned.

“Do you want to get some sleep? I have a spare bedroom,” Steve offered. “Or maybe a shower?” 

Bucky visibly stiffened. “No showers!” His eyes seemed to gloss over like he had gone somewhere else for a moment.

Steve blinked at his reaction, but took it in stride. “A bath then?” 

Bucky nodded slowly. “A hot bath.”

“Of course,” Steve agreed. “It can get much hotter than we were able to just boiling water.

Steve waited until Bucky was finished with his sandwich, and then led him to the bathroom. 

He showed him how to fill the bathtub and where all the soaps were before turning to leave. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be watching me?” Bucky asked hesitantly 

Steve made him nervous. He seemed to be confident that Bucky wasn’t going to do anything, but he’d done plenty in the last 70 years to be considered a threat. He’d even racked up a body count this past year. 

“I suppose,” Steve admitted averting his eyes while Bucky undressed. 

Once Bucky slipped into the bath he looked at him again. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen it, not even the hundredth. They’d gotten so used to seeing each other in the bath that it barely even affected Steve.

Except this wasn’t the same Bucky, so maybe he’d want a little more privacy. Steve kept his eyes firmly above Bucky’s shoulders. 

“You said that play wasn’t completely accurate,” Bucky spoke after a few minutes of silence. 

“They tried, but it's not exactly easy when we’re the only two primary sources,” Steve admitted

“But it was accurate?” Bucky asked 

“The writer had letters you wrote. Found ‘em in the wall where we used to live,” Steve explained. “I’d forgotten I hid them there before I went overseas.”

“Can I see them?” Bucky asked curiously.

“Of course, Buck.”

* * *

After Bucky’s bath, Steve showed him to the spare room. 

“Jarvis is watching.” Steve commented as he saw Bucky start searching the room for bugs. “No one else. Avengers Tower is secure, especially the levels where we live.” 

Bucky didn’t stop his search for another minute until he was finally sure Steve was telling the truth. 

He laid down on the bed and wiggled uncomfortable.

“Too soft?” Steve guessed. “It took awhile for me to get used to it too.”

Bucky remained silent as he stared up at the ceiling. 

After a few minutes Steve left the room, but not before reminding him about Jarvis if he needed anything. 

Bucky fell asleep imagining the damage he could inflict on Steve if he lost control.

* * *

Steve was settling down to watch a movie when a blood curdling scream came from the room where Bucky was sleeping.

Steve rushed in and found Bucky still asleep, tangled in the sheet and screaming at the top of his lungs. 

“Should I alert Sir?” Jarvis asked 

“No, it’s alright I can handle it Jarvis,” Steve responded automatically. 

Steve went over to Bucky and gently shook him awake, fully aware that he might need to jump back quickly in case he reacted badly. 

He didn’t react quick enough though and soon Bucky had a knife at Steve’s throat and backed him against the wall. Bucky’s eyes were clouded over as if he was still stuck in the nightmare. 

“Bucky, it’s okay. It's Steve,” Steve soothed. “You’re at Avengers Tower.”

Bucky growled and brought the knife closer to his neck. 

“Alerting Sir,” Jarvis spoke

“No Jarvis. I have this handled,” Steve snapped, frustrated at the AI, but continued to reassure Bucky as he ignored the growing issue in his pants. “You’re safe, Bucky.”

Steve took a chance and put his hand on Bucky’s flesh arm. “It’s Steve, Bucky.”

Slowly Bucky came back to himself and his face filled with horror and shame when he realized the position they were in. Bucky backed up and dropped the knife. He dropped onto the bed and put his head in his hands. “No.” He kept repeating it over and over as he curled in on himself. 

“It’s okay, Bucky. It was just a nightmare” 

Bucky ignored Steve and kept spiraling.

Steve walked over and put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. It had worked to snap him out of his nightmare. 

Bucky looked up at Steve after a moment, detached from his words. “I suppose this means I have to go in the cell.”

“No, Buck,” Steve comforted. “It was just a nightmare.” 

Bucky stood up suddenly angry. “Can’t you see that I’m dangerous?”

“I know you aren’t going to hurt me, Bucky,” Steve said with complete certainty 

“I just attacked you!” Bucky yelled in frustration.

“You were stuck in a nightmare. It could have happened to anyone.”

Bucky scoffed “You are so reckless! I’m not the same person you remember! I’m an ex-assassin for god sake!”

“I know that,” Steve said quietly. “Don’t you think I know that, Buck? I’m not the same person either.” 

“You’re just going to ignore the ex-assassin part,” Bucky said, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“It wasn’t your choice, Bucky.” Steve sighed. “I know it happened, but it doesn’t define you.”

Bucky looked at Steve in annoyed disbelief. “That doesn’t mean I’m not dangerous.” 

“I could make the argument that all the Avengers are dangerous,” Steve said unmoved

Suddenly Bucky started laughing uncontrollably. He sat back on the bed and clutched his stomach in amusement.

Steve smiled “What’s so funny, jerk?”

“We’ve had a variation of this conversation before, haven’t we?” Bucky asked between laughs

Steve blushed remembering how he used to argue with Bucky all the time about how reckless he was. “I suppose we have.” 

“You’re such a punk.” Bucky grinned, shaking his head as he got control of his amusement. 

* * *

After that, Bucky was more relaxed around Steve. He still couldn’t believe Steve was dismissing how dangerous he was. But Bucky just decided he just needed to get a better control of his dangerous side. He couldn’t attack Steve again. 

The next week flew by without issue. The rest of the Avengers were still suspicious and convinced Bucky would attack, but everyone but Natasha seemed content to let Jarvis warn them. 

Natasha had taken to dropping by unannounced and glaring in Bucky’s general direction daring him to do anything.

Steve was telling stories about their past to Bucky, but usually paused when Natasha came and let her do her thing, knowing there was no way of stopping her without the rest of the Avengers insisting on the cell.

Once Natasha left, Steve continued. 

“And then I fell over the railing, right into the Hudson.” Steve laughed. “You teased me for weeks about it, once I was out. But I think you thought I was going to end up washing up in Manhattan if you didn’t get me out quick enough.”

Bucky smiled weakly, still preoccupied by Natasha glare. 

“Of course I got sick, I always did,” Steve added 

“You got sick a lot didn’t you?” Bucky said after a second. “I can’t help but think a lot of my memories are of you in bed coughing up a lung.” 

“I did,” Steve confirmed. “But you were always there at my bedside, if you weren’t at work trying to afford my medicine.” 

“And we were-” Bucky’s face screwed up as if he was trying to remember something important. “We’re we together?” Steve’s eyes widened, but Bucky continued. “That play said we were. But I don’t remember ever being like that?” 

“We,” Steve started, but found it difficult to talk. “We weren’t. I— well you were never interested in that, Buck.”

Bucky’s face fell and it was clear he wanted to say something else, but refrained from doing so. 

They remained silent for a few minutes until Steve decided to start on another story. 

* * *

A week and a half after Bucky arrived, Tony announced he was ready to take a good look at Bucky’s arm. 

Steve and Bucky headed down to Tony’s lab where they found Bruce and Tony setting up what they thought they might need. 

Bucky sat down on the dentist chair that Tony offered and relaxed his arm. Before Tony could do anything though, Bucky stood up. “This isn’t going to work,” Bucky said, visibly shaking. 

Tony looked confused at Bucky’s refusal, but Steve could hit himself. They’d found that chair in the empty bank vault, destroyed except for its bent frame. Of course Bucky would be reminded of his time with Hydra, sitting in Tony’s chair.

“You’re gonna have to think of something else, Tony,” Steve said, catching Bucky’s eye and promising silently that they wouldn’t make him sit there. 

“But—”

“Do it, Tony,” Steve said sharply. “We’ll come back when you find a replacement.”

Steve led Bucky out of the lab and back up to Steve’s floor. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, Bucky,” Steve said, touching Bucky’s shoulder comfortingly. 

“I think I’m going to go lay down,” Bucky said quietly as he walked over to the spare bedroom and shut the door behind him.

Steve picked up his phone as called Sam. He told him the situation and asked what he should do.

“Listen, Steve. I’m not your therapist or his,” Sam told him. “You should both get one. I can give you some references through the VA.”

“I’m fine, Sam,” Steve denied

“It’s just a place to talk out your problems,” Sam pressed. “No one is going to judge you. And you can’t fix all his problems.

“I’ll talk to him about it,” Steve deflected “It’s important to me that he gets a choice” 

“I’ll text you some details.”

* * *

After a week, Bruce thought of a solution to the chair and it was delivered to the lab. 

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier,” Bruce said. “Or why Tony didn’t.” 

Bruce was referring to the huge bean bag chair currently in the middle of the lab. 

“Will this work, Bucky?” Steve asked concerned

Bucky nodded and took a seat in the chair. 

Tony came from the other side of the lab, Dum-E trailing behind him with a platter of tools. 

“Ready Robocop?” Tony asked, already starting on Bucky’s arm. 

Tony ran it under a sensor on one of his machines first. “You see that?” he asked Bruce. 

“That’s not good,” Bruce agreed. 

“What?” Steve asked 

Tony ignored Steve and moved onto another machine scanning Bucky’s arm. He started tinkering with Bucky’s arm, opening it with a screwdriver. 

Tony continued tinkering with Bucky’s arm with Bruce's help for half an hour when Natasha appeared. 

“You know, you should be more careful. He can rip a guys head off with that,” she remarked casually, pointing at the metal arm and then looked pointedly at Bucky who looked horrified at the thought. 

“How would you know?” Tony asked moving a little farther back from Bucky, while he still did his work.

“Shield mostly.” Natasha said vaguely. 

They watched for a while until finally, Tony set down his tools. 

“What’s my prognosis?” Bucky asked monotone. 

Steve frowned. It seemed like the voice Bucky would have used when getting orders as the Winter Soldier.

“I took out a tracker and some surveillance equipment,” Tony explained. “We’ll have to up our security in case someone was on the other end watching. But it didn’t appear to be transmitting.” 

Steve started to say something, but Tony stopped him.

“We’ve also got a problem,” Tony said seriously. “Remember how he said it was connected to his spine?”

“He’s right here, Tony,” Steve reprimanded

“There’s a kill switch and something else sending signals to his brain I can’t quite identify yet.”

Natasha looked thoughtful. 

“Can’t you deactivate it?” Steve asked, panicked 

“It’s going to take awhile for me to figure out. Give me a few days.”

“They could kill him by then!” Steve said angrily, flexing his hand to stop from punching Tony in the face for even suggesting not helping Bucky now.

“It’s okay, Steve,” Bucky said softly reaching out and taking his hand and squeezing it. 

Steve’s anger dissipated and was replaced with genuine surprise. He squeezed Bucky’s hand back. He stared into Bucky’s eyes, trying to convey how worried he was and Bucky stared back.

Tony raised his eyebrow, but Bruce smiled at the affection. 

“Well I’m done with you for now,” Tony said. “If you two want to leave my lab and go stare meaningfully into each other's eyes elsewhere.” 

* * *

The next day they found out exactly what was being transmitted through Bucky’s arm. 

Steve, Sam, Natasha and Bucky were just sitting down to watch a movie. Natasha in an armchair pointed toward the couch where Steve and Bucky sat, a little too close than was normal with Sam on the other side. 

Bucky was laughing at a joke Steve made when he went completely stiff. His eyes glazed over and he muttered something in Russian. 

Natasha bolted out of her chair and landed on Bucky before any of them could even blink, dragging him down to the floor and hitting him over the head with the closest object.

“What the hell are you doing?” Steve demanded when he saw that Bucky was knocked out. He jumped up out of his chair and put his hands up as if to fight, if Natasha tried something.

“Help me get him down to a cell,” Natasha said gravely. 

“He didn’t do anything!” Steve insisted irritated

“I don’t know man,” Sam said, equally confused but hoisted up Bucky’s top end while Natasha took the bottom, carrying him. 

They took Bucky down to the level where the cells that controlled the Hulk and placed him in carefully. Steve trailing behind them demanding an explanation. 

“Jarvis, get Tony here quick,” Natasha said, ignoring Steve’s protest about how Bucky was perfectly fine, after all he’d just been laughing and it was rude to just attack people.

Tony appeared after a minute, clearly haven run. 

“What did he do?” 

“I think someone was on the other end of that surveillance you found, because they activated him,” Natasha updated 

“What?” Steve said, suddenly stopped protesting. “What does that mean?”

“That connection to his brain,” Tony realized. “They can still use him as a weapon.”

“But he’s been recovering.” Steve objected, feeling horrified at the thought that Hydra still had a hold on his friend. 

“Let’s get him down to the lab.” Tony said “Jarvis get Dum-E to send a stretcher.”

Tony turned to Steve. “We have to restrain him now. He’s clearly more dangerous than we thought.”

Steve nodded sadly. “Just let me be there to calm him down when he wakes up.”

Once they got down to the lab, Tony immediately went to work 

“I figured out how to remove the kill switch,” Tony told them after a minute.

The lab went silent after that, everyone waiting on bated breath to see if Tony could remove the trigger. 

Tony made frustrated noises every so often, right before he tried something new. He muttered a few things to Bruce who answered with a seemingly random fact about neurology. 

Things became much harder when suddenly Bucky was groaning.

He opened his eyes and looked at everyone in confusion for a second before his focus landed on his restraints. He tried to free himself, almost breaking the restraints, when he felt Steve’s hand squeeze his own. 

“It’s okay, Buck. I’m so sorry, but it's for your own protection,” Steve said sadly.

Bucky stopped struggling and stared at Steve miserable as he shook from anxiety.

Tony huffed in frustration. “I think I have to say that this might be a little too difficult for just Bruce and I.”

“We could call in Doctor Cho. She might know what to do,” Bruce suggested taking a deep calming breath, turning to Steve and Bucky. “You’ll have to go back into the cell until she gets here.”

Bucky sighed in acceptance. But Steve protested “He’s been here for awhile and this is the first time this has happened—”

“He can rip a guy's arm off in less than a second,” Natasha interjected and looked at Bucky to see his reaction of disgust and alarm. 

“I don’t remember that in his file,” Sam commented

“He goes in the cell,” Tony said with no room for argument. “But you’ll be happy to know I removed the kill switch.”

* * *

The next day, Clint returned to Avengers Tower from an undisclosed location. The team felt it was important to talk about Sokovia.

Steve was informed by Jarvis from his place outside Bucky’s cell that he’d only left when Bucky was asleep.

“Go Steve,” Bucky implored when Steve tried to tell Jarvis he wouldn’t be coming. 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay down here by yourself?” Steve worried

“I’ll be fine.” Bucky sighed putting his hand on the cell door. “Just don’t do anything reckless and stupid.” 

“I can’t promise that.” Steve smiled softly putting his own hand on the door. 

“That’s because you’re a punk.”

“Bye, Jerk.” Steve turned and left with a quick wave to Bucky. 

He went to the floor they usually had meetings on and sat down in a chair.

“Look who decided to emerge from the Hulk cells,” Tony remarked. 

“Could we just start?” Steve asked irritably 

Natasha filled Bruce and Clint on the intel they got from Bucky. Then she began to present what she had found with Bucky’s information to go off of. 

“There are two teenaged superpowered humans on their side, recruited to take us down. I haven’t figured out exactly what their powers are yet. But they came from experimentation much like the Winter Soldier. Who incidentally used Google Maps to find their location.”

“The competition?” Tony said, scandalized. “Don’t you have much more detailed maps at Shield?”

“It’s how he’s found the rest of the Hydras bases he’s taken down,” Steve said. “No one cares if it's your competition, Tony.” 

The Avengers planned out how they would take down the Hydra base. Soon they were on the Quinjet on their way to their mission.

“How’s Barnes doing in that cell?” Sam asked next to Steve, the others attention elsewhere. 

“He seems to be accepting it, but I don’t like it. I don’t see why he needs to be there when we can just watch him for signs that he’s been activated and stop it,“ Steve admitted 

“You really trust him no matter what,” Sam stated.

“He hasn’t done anything for me not to trust him,” Steve told him. “I don’t think he trusts himself with me though.”

“Why don’t you spar with him? Most of the memories he remembers are you, small and sickly right?” Sam said thoughtfully. “It might give him confidence that he’s not going to hurt you.”

“If he ever gets out of that cell,” Steve said hopelessly.

“I have a feeling they’ll figure it out,” Sam reassured, patting Steve’s shoulder.

* * *

They returned to the tower with a few injuries each to find Dr. Cho had arrived in their absence.

She set about healing their injuries, especially Clint who was bleeding from his side. 

When she was done she turned to Bruce “And where is the classified project you needed help with?”

“Go fetch Barnes, Capsicle,” Tony ordered 

Steve rolled his eyes but went to go get Bucky regardless.

When he arrived he found Bucky sitting in the corner of the cell deep in thought about something. 

“You okay, Buck?” Steve asked after a minute of Bucky not acknowledging him.

“Did everything go okay?” 

“We didn’t get them. But we did get Strucker. He’ll be sent to be questioned by what's left of Shield,” Steve explained

“He’s a bastard. I would’ve killed him.” Bucky admitted

“I know,” Steve said matter of factly. “But that’s not how the Avengers work.”

“So what happens now?” 

“Well they’ve got another person to help look at your arm. Tony screened her to make sure she’s not Hydra. But she’s here now,” Steve explained. “I was sent to get you.”

Bucky nodded unhappily. He hated that he had to be restrained to look at his arm. But he also knew they needed to remove this trigger before Hydra used it again. 

Bucky stood up and walked to the cell door, while Steve unlocked it with his eyeprint. Steve opened the door. He reached over and squeezed Bucky’s hand and Bucky squeezed back.

Steve led Bucky back to the lab and took a seat next to Bucky’s bean bag as Tony put Bucky’s restraints on. The rest of the Avengers had left so the room only contained Tony, Bruce, Dr. Cho, Steve and Bucky. 

Bucky started shaking as soon as the restraints were in place, so Steve started telling him a story to distract him while they worked. 

It didn’t take long for Dr. Cho to conclude they would have to take the arm off and redirect the neurons.

“Is that okay, Bucky?” Steve asked, trying to give him a choice.

“I’m afraid there’s no other way.” Dr. Cho said kindly. 

Bucky just shrugged knowing there was no choice if he wanted to get out from under Hydras control. 

Soon Bucky was knocked out with 5x the normal amount, and they kicked Steve out of the lab, citing needing space. 

* * *

It took what felt like five hours to Steve, but was probably only two, until Jarvis told him he could go back down to the lab.

He rushed down to find Bucky, armless on his left side, just waking up. 

“I feel lighter,” Bucky said as a way of greeting. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without an arm.”

“I’ll work on a much better arm!” Tony announced like he just had the idea. “It’ll be so much better than anything Hydra could make!”

“Great idea, Tony,” Steve said, half paying attention as he helped Bucky and let him lean on him to balance. “You fixed the issue?”

“Yes, but he could have memory loss.” Tony laughed at his own joke. “Careful with his bandages.”

Steve and Bucky left the lab and went back up to Steve’s floor.

“You must be hungry,” Steve said as he helped Bucky onto the couch. “With being in the cell all day and only having breakfast.”

“I could eat.”

Steve made a mound of sandwiches and brought them over for them to eat. After all, he was hungry too. 

They ate in silence with Steve retrieving sandwiches for Bucky when he had difficulty balancing enough to get it himself. 

“How do you feel Buck?” Steve asked once they were down. 

“H—armless.” Bucky grinned, leaning on Steve 

Steve laughed “You’ve still got the other one.”

“Don’t ruin my joke, punk” 

“But do you really feel harmless, jerk?” Steve asked hopefully.

“Well I can’t exactly murder you with just one arm, when I can barely walk without teetering.” 

“You’ll get the hang of it. It hasn't even been an hour since you lost it,” Steve encouraged. “And once Tony makes you a new arm, we can test it out by sparring.

Bucky tried to disagree but Steve continued. 

“I’m a lot stronger than you think I am. We both got the same serum”

“I guess we’ll see,” Bucky agreed.

If Steve wanted to spar with him, he would. He’d just have to take it easy on him. 

* * *

Bucky woke up in the middle of the night to a loud whimpering in the other room. 

He carefully got out of bed and after a few attempts succeeded. 

He followed the noise and found Steve in his room muttering and whimpering in his sleep. 

Steve was gorgeous when he was sleeping. Just like before the serum and Bucky could just watch him sleep and think about how in love with him he was. 

It was different now, of course, but Bucky had fallen in love with this version of Steve as well, and just like his younger self, Steve didn’t seem to return his feelings. Not that he had ever told Steve about them. It would change their relationship too much, knowing for certain that Steve would never love him romantically.

Besides, why would Steve love this version of him? He was a monster who killed god knows how many people and maimed countless others. 

Steve turned over in bed and muttered a little louder and Bucky could make out his name. 

He jumped, thinking that he’d been caught staring. But Steve slept on. 

_Screw this_

He went over to the bed and shoved Steve over with his one arm. He crawled into bed with Steve, wanting to share the bed like he remembered they had in their old apartment. 

Steve woke up at his shove. “‘ucky?” 

“I had a nightmare,” Bucky lied.

“‘Kay,” Steve closed his eyes again. “Wanna talk ‘bout it?”

“It’s okay, Stevie. Just wanna sleep here.” 

“Mmm” Steve muttered, throwing his arm over Bucky and fell back asleep. 

Bucky smiled, kissing Steve’s forehead and cuddled closer to Steve. He closed his eyes and fell asleep as well.

* * *

Steve woke up the next morning and was surprised to find Bucky in bed with him.

Bucky had his arm wrapped around Steve’s waist, his head pillowed on Steve’s chest. 

It was somewhat familiar, although Steve was usually the one with his head on Bucky. 

He couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to be in this position again.

Steve couldn’t help but grin and close his eyes again, pretending to still be asleep when Bucky woke up a few minutes later. 

Bucky stretched like a cat and rolled over to get up, but not before placing another kiss on Steve’s forehead. 

After his fifth attempt, where Steve almost let on that he was awake, Bucky managed to get up and left the room. 

Steve opened his eyes, his heart beating fast as he tried to think of a reason Bucky would do that. He couldn’t think of any logical reason. Bucky had never done that before as far as he knew. 

Steve got out of bed, realizing that he’d never get the answer laying there and followed Bucky out of the room. 

He found Bucky in the cupboard trying to figure out how to get a bowl down without pulling the whole stack down as well. 

Steve held the bowls so Bucky could get one, and then pulled another down for himself. 

“You been up long?” Bucky asked like he hadn’t just rocked Steve’s world by kissing him two minutes ago. 

And Steve wanted to say something, he did, but he was afraid of the answer. Anything that wasn’t Bucky returning his feelings would hurt too much. 

“Not long,” Steve lied as he brought the cereal over to the table as Bucky got the milk. 

They poured their bowls of cereal, Bucky having a harder time of it, but succeeding on his own.

“How long do you think it's going to be before Stark gives me a new arm?” 

“I don’t know, Buck,” Steve said honestly. “It could be days, weeks, even months.” 

Bucky nodded. 

“But you seemed to already be getting the hang of it.

“Only because you’re here.” Bucky complained 

Steve sighed “Remember when I broke my leg when you were 16?” 

“Not really.”

“You had to help me all summer while I was on crutches and beat up all the guys that were calling me names.” Steve smiled fondly.

“You gonna beat up your friends for me?” Bucky joked. 

“I might just have to,” Steve joked back. “But I don’t think I could take Natasha”

“You know there’s something about Natasha I can’t pinpoint,” Bucky said thoughtfully. “It’s like I know her from somewhere, but I can’t figure it out.” 

“Well she’s got a past with the Russians,” Steve said helpfully. “And she does seem to know things that are definitely not in the Shield files.”

“You think the Winter Soldier knows her?” Bucky asked 

“Well you definitely shot her once,” Steve explained. “But that's all she cared to share about how she knew you. But that’s just Natasha. I don’t think she’ll even tell you if you asked.”

“I don’t think I want to remember if what she says is true.” Bucky admitted

“You don’t have to remember anything you don’t want to, Buck.” Steve reassured “But speaking of memories, I wanted to talk to you about getting a therapist.”

“You gonna try to lock me up in an asylum, Steve?” Bucky asked, suddenly worried.

“It’s not like that anymore, Bucky. Now it’s just someone to talk to about your problems.” Steve explained “I’ll get one if you do. Sam’s been bugging me for awhile now about it.” 

“I guess we can try, but you have to promise me they aren’t gonna lock me up.”

“I won’t let them lock you up, Buck,” Steve promised, pulling Bucky into a one armed hug. 

* * *

“How come I never see you making art?” Bucky asked a few days later, as they were dancing to old music from the 1940, in sync despite their distance

Steve stopped swaying. “I guess I just never picked it up again.”

“Why did you stop?” 

“When I got to the future, it was so confusing. I didn’t know where I could even go to get supplies, New York was suddenly so big and confusing.Then I got recruited for the Avengers and I guess it just got put on the backburner because I was focused on keeping the world safe.” Steve sighed. 

“I think I remember it used to relax you to sketch,” Bucky offered

“You’re right. Maybe I should think about picking it back up again.” Steve touched Bucky’s shoulder in gratitude 

“No time like the present,” Bucky said cheekily. “You can order it on your phone.” 

Steve gave Bucky a weird look. “How do you know that?”

“It can be very discreet.” Bucky shuddered remembering some of the things he’d bought off the black market. “Hydra trained me to be very resourceful.”

“You do seem more adapted to this century than me,” Steve said, trying to make light of the comment. He didn’t want Bucky to focus on his time as the Winter Soldier because it seemed to upset him. 

“I am,” Bucky said simply. “But this isn’t about me. Order some supplies punk, before I do it for you.” 

Steve took out his phone and did a little searching before he found a reputable site here in New York City. He found some things he wanted and ordered. 

“Isn’t the future great?” Bucky beamed as Steve put his phone in his pocket again.

“It certainly is weird.” Steve shot back. “I don’t even know how they’re going to deliver it to Avengers Tower.” 

“Oh, this is my favorite song!” Bucky said referring to the music still playing. He grabbed Steve’s hand and pulled him in to dance with him. 

“Buck, you know I can’t dance,” Steve complained as Bucky took the lead. “I’m just good at swaying.” 

“I don’t care if you step on my feet,” Bucky said, still grinning. “Just wanna dance with ya.” 

Steve tried to follow along with Bucky’s steps, desperate not to step on Bucky’s toes even if he said it was okay. 

Bucky pulled him closer and started to sing along with the song.

_The way your smile just beams_

_The way you sing off key_

_The way you haunt my dreams_

_No, no they can't take that away from me_

Steve blushed deep red and hid his face in Bucky’s shoulder as they continued to dance. 

_We may never, never meet again_

_On the bumpy road to love_

_Still I'll always, always keep the memory of_

_The way you hold your knife_

_The way we danced till three_

_The way you changed my life_

_No, no they can't take that away from me_

_No, they can't take that away from me_

Bucky continued singing and Steve couldn’t help but think that maybe this song meant something to Bucky for a reason. 

He pulled his face away from Bucky’s neck and looked into Bucky’s eyes. 

Bucky stopped singing and everything was silent as they stared at each other. 

Steve leaned in, memorized by the look in Bucky’s eyes. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Tony asked rudely “Do continue, but I’ve got a package for the old man— sorry, Old Man #1. They seemed pretty eager to get it to you when they saw the name.” 

Steve closed his eyes in frustration, but let go of Bucky. 

“What do you want, Tony?” Steve asked, irritated 

“Like I said they dropped off a package downstairs. Thought I’d come see what the fossils were doing,” Tony said. “Clearly listening to what can only be described as old lady music.” 

Steve walked over to Tony and took the package, glaring at him. “Go away, Tony.” 

“I wanted to tell you Jarvis and I have made a rough outline of the arm based off of prosthetics currently on the market.” 

“That’s great Tony,” Steve said half heartedly and looked back at Bucky who wasn’t looking at him. 

Tony said something else, but Steve wasn’t listening, too focused on trying to will Bucky to look at him to see what he was thinking. 

Tony scoffed when Steve didn’t respond. “I can see where I’m not wanted.” 

Tony went to the elevator and left. 

Steve set the package down on the table instinctively and came back to Bucky. 

“Is that your art stuff?” Bucky asked a little red. 

Steve looked over the package, haven forgotten about it already. “Yeah, I think so.” 

“You should draw something,” Bucky suggested 

“I’ll draw you,” Steve decided, fully aware that wasn’t going to relieve the awkward air that had appeared in the room. 

Steve went back over to the package and opened it. He found the sketch book and a set of pencils.

He grabbed those and left the rest of art supplies in the package, as he went back over to Bucky.

He sat down and found Bucky posing. 

“You know you don’t have to do that.” Steve said “I get a much better sketch when you act normal.” 

Bucky relaxed. “I thought I’d start you off easy for your first sketch in 70 years.”

“That’s nice of you, but it’s really not needed Bucky.” Steve said as he started to sketch out Bucky’s shape. 

Bucky fell silent and stared at Steve while he worked. After about ten minutes he spoke again.

“You know that play?” Bucky asked curiously. “They mentioned some sketches of me that I don’t think I ever saw.”

Steve paused drawing and turned red as Bucky continued.

“Was that real or made up?” 

“It was real,” Steve admitted flustered 

“Can I see them?” Bucky asked curiously

Steve couldn’t see a reason to deny Bucky. Either way he would know of his secret love for Bucky and he liked giving Bucky things. 

“Yeah and maybe I can get around to showing you those letters,” Steve agreed. “But let me finish this one first.”

* * *

It took till the next day until Steve pulled the sketches and letters found in their old apartment wall out of where he’d hidden them.

He walked over to Bucky where he was sitting on Steve’s bed and handed him the stack.

Steve took a seat next to him as Bucky looked at the first piece of yellowed paper. It was the last letter Bucky had written before Steve stuck it in the wall, once he had to start touring the United States with the showgirls promoting Captain America. 

“Do you have any of your responses?” Bucky asked once he finished reading.

“I think those got lost when you—” Steve paused. “Well, when everyone thought you died. The Smithsonian certainly doesn’t have them.” 

“Oh,” Bucky said, disappointed. “It would’ve been great to be able to read them.” 

Bucky turned back to the stack of papers and read a few more letters. It was only when Bucky turned over one of the sketches that Steve stopped breathing. 

It was a sketch of Bucky in the bath washing his hair, an expression of ecstasy on his face.

Bucky stared at the sketch, his brow scrunching up in confusion. He continued staring for a few minutes before he said anything.

“I don’t understand.” 

Steve couldn’t explain himself without blurting out how attractive he found Bucky and how much he loved him, so he stayed silent.

Bucky flipped through the rest of the sketches, all with Bucky in some form of undress. There was even one that made Bucky look like a pinup girl. 

“Why did you draw these Steve?” Bucky asked, desperate for the answer.

“I know you’re disgusted with me,” Steve finally said mortified as he hung his head. “But you wanted to see them.” 

“No, Steve,” Bucky quickly corrected tenderly, placing his hand on Steve’s chin to get him to look at him. “I’m not disgusted” 

Steve stared into Bucky’s eyes and found that Bucky was telling the truth. He searched Bucky’s eyes for any hint of how he was feeling. 

“What do these mean?” Bucky pleaded not letting himself believe that Steve could want to see him this way. 

“It’s how I saw you back then,” Steve finally said 

“Back then?” Bucky asked heart sinking, he’d could have had Steve back then. But now, maybe he’d lost him.

“You’ve been through a lot, Buck. We both have,” Steve said carefully, still worried that Bucky might be disturbed by his feelings. “There’s things I wouldn’t have thought to capture back then.” 

Bucky’s face fell at Steve’s words. He knew Steve couldn’t love this version of him. 

“But how I feel has never changed,” Steve finished taking a leap of faith that maybe, just maybe Bucky was asking these questions with an ulterior motive. 

A look of relief flashed across Bucky’s face and he grinned.

“You like me, punk?” Bucky said delighted

“Well, what are you going to do about it?” Steve dared his heart beating out of his chest in anticipation.

Bucky leaned in and captured Steve’s lips in a kiss he’d been waiting for his whole life. 

Steve deepened the kiss, pushing Bucky backwards on the bed and climbing on top of him. 

Bucky’s hand found its way to the back of Steve’s neck, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck. 

Finally they pulled away, both grinning foreheads touching as they turned on their sides. Steve’s arm was slung over Bucky.

“I love you, Stevie,” Bucky confessed, his heart feeling so full it almost hurt. 

“I love you too, Buck,” Steve murmured deliriously happy. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that,” Bucky said, pressing a kiss to Steve’s cheek, simply because he could. 

“I’ve been waiting since I was sixteen,” Steve told him. “The day you graduated high school”

“Damn, we’re idiots.” Bucky laughed. “Seventeen. I don’t remember exactly when. I was cleaning you up from a fight and you said something stupidly reckless.”

“That sounds like me.” Steve grinned and kissed him again, giddy with love. 

* * *

It took awhile for them to emerge from the bedroom now that they could openly show affection for each other. When they finally did it was only because Jarvis warned them they had company.

They exited the bedroom, a secret smile for each other on their faces. 

“Oh good. There you are. I’ve got a prototype for Captain Hook to try.” Tony said when he saw them. “It’s not perfect yet, but I figured he’d appreciate having an arm.” 

“That’s nice of you,” Steve commented

“Yeah, thanks,” Bucky said, most of his focus was still on Steve, still not quite believing what had just happened.

“What’s the catch?” Steve asked thinking Tony was being too nice. 

“I’m trying to develop a prosthetic for the market that can feel more sensations than the Hydra arm. I need him to try out different models,” Tony said. “And I need to operate on him again to put a dock in that will transmit the signal for sensation.”

“That’s fine.” Bucky said absently as he took Steve’s hand in his and squeezed.

Steve shot him a lovesick look. 

“Interesting.” Tony looked between the two of them. “If you want to meet me in my lab once you’re done playing hide the cucumber, I'll just—” Tony trailed off and left. 

* * *

Eventually Steve and Bucky made their way down to Tony’s lab. 

Tony got to work quickly numbing Bucky’s shoulder and starting on the process he’d detailed in his notes.

Bucky held Steve’s hand firmly as Tony worked. 

“Remember when we found that puppy down by the docks?” Steve asked, launching into a story to distract Bucky from what Tony was doing.

“Sort of? It was all white wasn’t it? Mangy little thing with a bark worse than it’s bite. Kinda like you were.” 

Tony snorted but continued working. 

“That’s what you said then too.” Steve smiled. “We brought it home and Ma was beside herself. But she let us keep it.”

“Sarah gave us whooping for letting her have the soup bone,” Bucky remembered.

“I don’t know what we were thinking.” 

“But then she got off the rope when we were walking her,” Bucky said sadly.

“Yeah.” Steve sighed wistfully. “Didn’t think the dog catcher would be in the neighborhood.”

They both smiled sadly for a few moments. 

“Didn’t we have an elaborate plan to break her out?” Bucky grinned. 

“I wouldn’t say it was elaborate, although we certainly thought so at the time. Can’t believe I fit through the bars, but she didn’t.” 

Bucky laughed and Steve soon followed. 

“Did you ever confess it?” Bucky asked, remembering Steve swore he wouldn’t.

“It ain’t a sin if you’re trying to save something's life,” Steve confirmed. “We never did get to name her.” 

“We were so upset when we found out she was gone.” Bucky sighed. “Did they, you know” 

He mimed cutting across his throat. 

Even after being in World War Two, a Howling Commando and the Winter Soldier, Bucky still couldn’t speak about hurting an animal. He knew that the Winter Soldier had done it without thinking. But that wasn’t him. 

“Nah, you don’t remember? Some family adopted her right from underneath us while we were trying to think of another way to get her out,” Steve reassured patting Bucky’s arm.

“Ow. Geeze, Stark.” Bucky winced and looked over at Tony. 

“I’m almost done,” Tony told them. “Talk about something else, you’re boring me.” 

He continued tinkering with Bucky’s arm. 

“No one was speaking to you, Tony.” Steve pointed out. “You don’t have to listen.” 

“Remember stickball, Steve?” Bucky tried, but started laughing. “No, that topic is definitely too boring to even pretend to have a conversation about.” 

“I don’t know, it was funny when you beat Tommy Diederik with the stick for breaking my nose.”

“Wait, someone broke Cap’s nose? This sounds interesting,” Tony said delighted.

“He was just a racist who didn’t like the Irish,” Steve brushed off. 

Tony seemed put out. “Well fine. You can go take your boring stories elsewhere, because I’m done.”

“What about the arm?” Bucky asked, confused when he looked over and only saw the port on his shoulder. 

“Dum-E the arm, darling.”

The robot drove up with a tray holding a metal arm and Tony took it off and secured it to Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Try to move the fingers.”

Bucky tried and they wiggled slowly.

Tony handed Bucky a screw and Bucky balanced it in his hand and made a fist. 

“It seems to work.” Bucky surmised

“Can you feel the screw in your hand?” 

“Not really.” Bucky admitted

Tony moved a few screens around. “I didn’t expect it to work the first time.I don’t think I have the right logistics yet.”

Tony stood up and started working on something a table away. After a few minutes he looked up.

“Oh you’re still here?” 

Steve rolled his eyes and helped Bucky up. 

“Goodbye, Tony.” 

They left with a quick wave away from Tony. 

* * *

That night they went to their separate bedrooms to sleep. 

After about ten minutes, Bucky got out of bed and went to Steve’s room. 

He knocked on the door. 

“What is it, Buck?” 

Bucky opened the door and walked in. 

“This is really stupid, Steve.” 

“What is?” 

“I remember my favorite part of the day back in the 40s was getting to crawl into bed next to you. Why do we have separate beds?”

Steve grinned and picked up the sheets offering the spot next to him. “You’re right, it is stupid. C’mere.” 

Bucky walked over and crawled into the bed next to Steve and Steve let go of the sheets so they landed on Bucky. 

Bucky turned over onto his side and rested his head on his right arm. 

“Did you have a good day?” Bucky asked with a smile.

“Let’s see, you got a new arm that doesn’t seem to do you any harm _and_ I got to kiss you? Seems like a pretty great day.”

Steve leaned in and kissed Bucky to prove his point. Bucky deepened the kiss, his metal arm coming around to wrap around Steve’s torso. 

Steve’s hand made its way up to Bucky’s face to cradle it tenderly. 

Bucky pulled at Steve’s shirt, rucking it up to his armpits. 

They broke apart and Steve removed his shirt, then pulled at Bucky’s until Bucky removed his as well. 

Steve stared at Bucky’s chest, taking in the scars he’d never seen before from a part of Bucky’s life he’d missed. 

“Do they ever hurt?” Steve asked concerned as he ran his fingers over one of the scars. 

“The ones near my shoulder always used to hurt. I think it was the weight of the arm putting pressure on my spine.” Bucky stopped speaking, sighing at the feeling of Steve’s fingers running along his chest.

“But they don’t anymore?”

“Well, it hasn’t been long since Stark removed it, but not since then.”

Steve leaned in and started kissing along Bucky’s scars. 

Bucky closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Steve’s lips on him. 

Steve found his nipple and licked it experimentally. 

Bucky whimpered quietly at the feeling and Steve tried it again getting a stronger response out of Bucky. 

Bucky started to get hard. 

Steve moved farther down Bucky’s chest going back to kissing Bucky’s scars until he reached on just along Bucky’s waistband. 

“Buck?”

“Yeah Stevie?”

“I’ve never done this before.” 

“Never? I thought with Peggy?” 

“It wasn’t like that with her. We didn’t see each other enough anyway for it to develop to that before. I thought maybe we’d get married because that was what was expected of us and then maybe it might happen,” Steve said, blushing. “But that was only if you’d got married too.” 

Bucky tried to smother the glee that Peggy Carter hadn’t actually had his boy. He’d always been so jealous of her catching Steve’s eye when he thought he could never have him. 

“I’ve only ever been with dames. Maybe twice.” Bucky told him. “But I went to one of those bars that served _temperamental_ fellas a few times. And saw some things.”

“What kinds of things?” Steve asked curiously.

“Let me show you one thing and then we can use your phone to see how it's all supposed to work with fellas,” Bucky promised. 

Steve nodded. 

Bucky started to kiss Steve’s neck trailing the kiss down Steve’s chest and stomach as Steve moaned at the sensation. He reached down and felt Steve through his pajama bottoms and felt Steve getting hard. 

Bucky tugged down the pajamas revealing Steve’s boxer briefs. Bucky mouthed at Steve’s cock through his underwear. 

Steve let out a surprised gasp and hardened further.

Bucky tugged down Steve’s underwear and his mouth watered at the sight of Steve’s huge cock. He took Steve in his hand and started to stroke. 

“Do you have any slick?” Bucky asked. “It’ll make it feel better.”

Steve turned over and frantically opened his bedside drawer. “I’ve got vaseline.”

“You know they’ve got better alternatives now, Stevie.” Bucky took the vaseline from Steve when he turned back over and used it to slick up his hand and Steve’s cock. 

“Tony sees all the packages that come into the tower.” Steve blushed, eyes closing as Bucky’s hand came back to stroke his cock. “And I’m too embarrassed to go to a drug store. Could you imagine the headlines?”

Bucky smiled at the thought as he sped up his hand. 

“Oh god, Buck that’s amazing.”

Bucky leaned in and took Steve in his mouth.

Steve’s eyes flew open and looked down, his pupils blown. “What—”

Bucky just patted Steve’s chest with his metal hand as he moved his mouth along Steve’s cock. His tongue gathered precum and he sucked him down. Bucky held Steve’s hips down with his flesh arm when he started to try to buck his hips up. Bucky continued his movements until Steve was pleading for him. 

“Bucky I’m going to come,” Steve said desperately. 

Bucky pulled off, not sure if he wanted Steve to come in his mouth quite yet. He stroked Steve fast until Steve was gasping.

“Come on, Stevie. Wanna see you come.”

Steve finally let go and spilled into Bucky’s hand and onto his stomach. 

Bucky collapsed next to Steve and grinned. 

“How was that?” Bucky asked after a minute, where Steve had wrapped his arms around him. “I’ve never given.” 

“It was great, but don’t you want me to do it for you?” 

“Nah, doll. Maybe another time.” Bucky kissed Steve’s forehead. “I just wanted you to have the experience.”

“You done that many times?” Steve said after a minute when he’d recovered enough. 

“Twice. The dames didn’t want to get pregnant so we didn’t do more.” Bucky said. “They didn’t want me to return the favor. I can’t say I was too disappointed. I was far too hung up on you.” 

“Could you hand me a tissue?” Steve asked looking down at himself still covered in his own come. 

Bucky laughed and leaned over to grab a tissue to hand it to Steve. 

Afterwards, they went to bed, cuddled together like they always ended up getting when they slept in the same bed. Only this time it wasn’t accidental. 

They fell asleep with smiles on their faces. 

* * *

Several hours later Steve woke up to the sound of Bucky thrashing around next him, tears leaking out of his eye. Bucky was still asleep, but obviously having a nightmare. 

Steve got out of bed, turned on the light and went to get his shield in case Bucky reacted violently to be woken up. 

When he returned, Bucky was still visibly upset so Steve put his shield up and leaned down to shake Bucky awake. 

Bucky was out of bed in seconds and hit Steve’s shield, falling backwards. He screamed in fear and swiped Steve’s legs out from under him, knocking the air out of Steve’s lungs. 

“Bucky!” Steve said breathlessly “It’s okay!”

Bucky looked around frantically like a feral dog trying to escape

“You’re in Avengers Tower, you’re safe, Buck.”

“Steve?” Bucky said fearfully as he looked around the room and finally his eyes went to the ground where Steve was sitting after he fell on his ass. His shield was covering most of his naked torso and legs.

“It’s okay, nothings going to hurt you, it's just me, Steve.”

“What are you doing on the floor?” Bucky asked, shaking off the nightmare. 

“You didn’t react well to be woken up.”

Bucky blushed. “Well get up here and put that shield away.” 

Steve stood up and put his shield away again in the closet. 

When he returned he found Bucky’s eyes roaming over his naked body. “You’re gorgeous, Stevie. I don’t think I told you earlier.” 

Steve turned red, his blush covering his face, neck and upper chest. He climbed back into bed and under the covers again.

“You’ve been gorgeous your whole life, even if you are a punk,” Bucky mused. “I was jealous once everyone else got to see what I did.”

“Aww, I love you too, ya jerk.” Steve smiled “Do you wanna talk about that dream though?”

Bucky looked put out “How about we just have sex again?”

“Buck, you can’t avoid your nightmares.” Steve said worried. “You know what your therapist would say

“Fine.” Bucky moved closer to Steve for comfort. “ They kidnapped me from this room and killed you. Then they strapped me into the chair and wiped me. I was the Winter Soldier again. And they sent me back to attack the other Avengers. Only you weren’t around to convince them I was human.”

“I won’t let them hurt you.” Steve promised. Who he meant wasn’t specified. Steve wouldn’t let anything hurt Bucky if he could help it. 

* * *

A few days later, Steve and Bucky were heading back to Steve’s floor after another upgrade on Bucky’s arm from Tony. 

He’d almost cracked the code for sensation. Bucky could feel larger things like Steve’s hand, but not something as small as a screw. Tony also made this hand more durable so he could fight with it. It wasn’t as damaging as the Hydra arm, but it could still pack a punch. 

They found Sam waiting, sitting in the armchair when they arrived. 

“Hey, Sam what are you doing here?” Steve asked curiously taking a seat on the couch

“I think we might have a led on those kids in Sokovia,” Sam informed them. “I’m just waiting on Natasha and I’ll explain.”

Bucky took a seat next to Steve, sitting just a little too close to be an accident. 

Sam raised his eyebrow at Steve. 

Steve took Bucky’s hand and squeezed it. “Yeah we are, Sam.”

“That didn’t take very long.”

“What didn’t?” Natasha asked as she strolled into the room. She noticed Steve and Bucky’s position. “Oh. No, that did take a long time.They’d have to wipe him every time he saw a skinny blonde man or any sort of Captain America propaganda. It wasn’t often, but it happened.”

“So the Winter Soldier knew you then?” Bucky asked, already taking her explanation as confirmation. “When was that?”

“When I was in Russia,” Natasha revealed, but didn’t elaborate. “You said you had some information about those superpowered kids from Sokovia?”

“They’ve just been hanging out in town, stealing things.” Sam said “I dug through the video feed on the Shield/Hydra cameras.”

“They were just experiments too,” Bucky said quietly. “They probably don’t know what to do with themselves anymore.” 

“Did we ever figure out what Hydra wanted with them?” Steve asked 

“Well they hate Stark and by extension us. I read it in the files from the base.” Natasha said “And the girl can control minds.”

“I can’t see Bruce fairing well with that.” Sam pointed out “And Tony’s out. They’d attack on sight.”

“So just us and Clint?” Steve surmised 

“I want to go.” Bucky said quietly. “I might be able to reason with them experiment to experiment.” 

“Absolutely not.” Natasha declared “We still haven’t figured out if that arm was the only trigger.”

* * *

Clint showed up to Avengers Tower a few hours later and they boarded the Quinjet. 

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, Buck,” Steve said and kissed Bucky.

When they pulled apart Bucky responded, “how can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” 

He grinned and hugged Bucky, pulling him in close and rubbing his hand over his back.

Steve released him and went to get on the jet. He took a seat and soon they were taking off. 

Bucky waved from the helicarrier.

He walked back inside to Steve’s floor and took a seat on the couch to watch one of the old movies Steve had set aside for him. 

It irritated him that they wouldn’t let him go with them. But maybe Natasha had a point. They really didn’t know everything about the Winter Soldier. 

Recently he’d been remembering more and it horrified him. 

He had killed so many people and mutilated many more. He was the reason corrupt governments never failed and good people died. He thinks that he might have even killed a United States President in the 1970s. He couldn’t remember any of their names, but the faces. They would haunt him for the rest of his life. 

Bucky tried to focus on the movie, but the faces kept flashing by in his mind until suddenly a familiar face appeared. 

He ran to the bathroom and emptied his stomach contents. 

Howard Stark. 

He had killed Stark and his wife. 

And– 

And their son had been helping him since he’d gotten to the tower. 

He needed to tell Steve! He certainly couldn’t tell Stark right now. 

* * *

The twins were giving them a run for their money. The fast one had already taken out Sam’s wings and thrown the shield back at Steve midair. 

The girl hadn’t gotten close enough to affect any of their minds. They were fighting back to back so she couldn’t sneak up on any of them. 

Clint managed to get the boy in the arm with an arrow. 

“We don’t want to hurt you,” Steve called out. “Can’t we just talk?”

A ball of red light flew at Steve and he jumped out of the way. 

* * *

Steve couldn’t tell you how they caught them and got them on the Quinjet back to Avengers Tower. But they had. 

As they flew back, Steve wondered how Bucky was doing. 

He’d been gone two days and the last time he’d left for that long, Bucky had been in a jail cell. 

He hoped Bucky was faring well. 

* * *

Bucky was not faring well. 

Once he realized he’d killed Howard Stark, he’d rid himself of his new metal arm. 

He didn’t deserve anything that Tony Stark made. 

Bucky crawled into his old bed, not feeling worthy of the embrace of Steve’s bed that smelled of him. He hadn’t moved out of the bed since. Eventually he fell asleep due to exhaustion.

That was how Steve found him a day later. Steve, still in his uniform, fresh from battle.

“Buck, what are you doing in here?” Steve asked curiously. “You look like you haven’t moved in days.”

“I’m a horrible person,” Bucky muttered against a pillow. 

“What makes you say that?” Steve asked, sitting down on the bed and rubbing Bucky’s back. “I don’t think you’re horrible.”

“I killed Howard Stark,” Bucky admitted miserably. “He said my name. I recognized him for a split second before the Winter Soldier took over again.” 

“I know the Winter Soldier killed him,” Steve said simply. “So does Natasha and Sam. We don’t hold it against you, because it wasn’t you.”

“Does Stark know?” Bucky’s head popped up to stare at Steve questionly.

“I wasn’t sure how he’d take it,” Steve admitted

“We have to tell him or else it's going to become a thing when he eventually finds out,” Bucky said certain, still looking miserable.

“We’ll tell him soon.” Steve conceded “But first you need to get up and clean. You look like you’ve been in bed since I left.” 

Bucky let his head land on the bed again and let a few tears fall. “His mother screamed in fear when I broke her neck.”

“It wasn’t you, Buck. It was a brainwashed Winter Soldier,” Steve soothed, rubbing his back comfortingly. 

Eventually Steve coaxed Bucky out of bed and into the bathroom. 

Steve started a bath and stripped Bucky’s clothes off of him, when he refused to do it himself, still too focused on killing the Starks. 

Steve led Bucky to the bath and eased him into it before stripping off his uniform as well. 

He climbed into the bath behind Bucky. 

He hugged Bucky close to his chest, whispering small words of encouragement to Bucky as he cleaned himself and Bucky.

Finally the miserable look disappeared off Bucky’s face. 

“What type of present do you get someone to tell them you killed their parents?” Bucky asked curiously. 

“I don’t know.” Steve said honestly, running his fingers through Bucky’s dirty hair. “Hand me the shampoo.” 

“You gonna wash my hair, Stevie?” Bucky asked, not quite smiling, but getting there as he handed Steve the shampoo.

Steve smiled and poured a couple of cups of water over Bucky’s head to wet his hair.

“Gonna get it so clean,” Steve promised as he poured shampoo into his hand. 

Steve ran his hands through Bucky’s hair kneading Bucky’s head to get all his hair clean.

Bucky moaned at the sensation, pushing his head into Steve’s hand as he continued to clean Bucky’s hair. 

Steve felt himself harden at the sounds Bucky was making and Bucky noticed immediately.

Bucky sat up and moved backwards to push against Steve’s cock.

Steve’s hands continued to run through Bucky’s strands. His hand caught on a tangle and Bucky whimpered. 

Steve’s cock twitched at the noise. 

Bucky turned and his hand made its way under the water and onto Steve’s cock. 

Steve pushed his hand away. 

“It’s my turn,” Steve insisted. 

Bucky tried to protest, but Steve just rinsed Bucky’s hair and brought his own hand down to Bucky’s cock. 

“Jesus, Buck” Steve muttered, feeling how thick he was, his own cock getting harder. 

Steve stroked Bucky inexperienced with anything other than his own. But he seemed to be doing fine considering the noise Bucky was making. 

Steve pulled Bucky in and wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him close while he continued his movements. 

He sped up his movements, to the joy of Bucky who got louder. 

After a few minutes Bucky came, spilling into the water. 

Bucky leaned his head backwards to kiss Steve lazily. 

* * *

It took a few more days until Tony requested they come down to his lab because he was finally done with a prototype he was convinced would be perfect for Bucky and any amputee who needed an arm.

Bucky remained silent the entire time, guilt coming back and sitting firmly in his mind. He just nodded when Tony asked if the arm could feel small and big sensations. 

“Now for the final tests,” Tony said, handing Bucky an ice cube. “Can you feel that?”

Bucky nodded trying to hand the ice cube back to Tony. He really didn’t like the cold. 

“I don’t like being handed things,” Tony rejected, so Bucky turned and gave Steve the ice cube who dropped it in an empty beaker. 

“How about this?” Tony turned on a small fire on the table with the beaker and held Bucky’s metal arm over it. 

Bucky pulled his arm out of Tony’s grasp and jumped back, rubbing the spot that was just over the fire. 

“What the hell, Tony?” Steve said angrily “You knew that should hurt.” 

“I had to make sure,” Tony said absently. “Maybe I should start on prosthetic legs next.”

Bucky finally spoke, a little irritated as well, but determined. 

“Stark, I need to tell you something, I just remembered a few days ago.” Bucky said unconfidently. “I didn’t know how to tell you.” 

“Bucky, are you sure?” Steve asked

“He needs to know.” Bucky said this time certain.

“What could you possibly have remembered that I specifically need to know, Skywalker?” 

Bucky took a deep breath and blew it out. 

“I— the Winter Soldier, he um— killed Howard and Maria Stark,” Bucky said miserably. “And your father, he recognized me.” 

“No, they crashed and were killed on impact,” Tony denied, pulling up a chart to put in that Bucky’s arm was successful and they should look into mass production. 

“The Winter Soldier beat your father’s face in when he recognized me,” Bucky added “And you’re mother—”

“Bucky, I don’t think he needs the details,” Steve interrupted, putting his arm on Bucky’s shoulder. 

Tony put his hands on the console of his computer and hung his head, finally believing Bucky. 

“Do you know why?” Tony asked subdued 

“I don’t remember a reason. They rarely gave me one.”

Tony looked at Bucky and looked down again like it hurt him too. 

“I’m gonna need some time,” Tony said after a minute, going off to look at something on the other side of the lab. 

Bucky and Steve took the hint and left fast. 

* * *

A few days later and Bucky was getting a little antsy cooped up in the tower. 

“Why don’t you go spar with Steve?” Sam commented when Bucky complained. 

They were both on Steve’s floor. Bucky was watching an old movie and Sam was just hanging out keeping an eye on Bucky because Natasha was still worried something was going to trigger him into the Winter Soldier.

“Steve wouldn’t be able to keep up with me.”

“You’re both supersoldiers, dude. I doubt he wouldn’t be able to keep up with you.” 

“I’m a trained assassin,” Bucky tried

“Steve can keep up with Natasha.”

“I just don’t want to hurt him,” Bucky admitted. “Even if we are evenly matched.”

“I’m sure your boyfriend feels the same way.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Bucky dismissed. “Steve is so much more than my boyfriend. He’s the stars to my moon. My soulmate. Our love broke through seventy years of conditioning. I have known and loved him for eighty eight years. His heart flows with kindness and a sense of fairness. He's such an idiot, but he's my idiot. I love him beyond reason. So he’s not my boyfriend. He’s so much more than that."

Sam looked at him shocked “Wow. Have you told Steve that?” 

“No, but I know he knows.” Bucky smiled. 

“I think you need to go spar with Steve to get some of that energy out,” Sam said “He’s just down there beating up Tony’s stock of punching bags. Then tell him what you just told me. And never tell me what happens next.”

* * *

Bucky made his way down to the gym after changing into some workout clothes. He found Steve exactly where Sam said he’d be. 

“Hey Buck,” Steve grinned, wiping away sweat from his brow. “You get bored with Sam?” 

“I thought maybe we could see what this arm could do,” Bucky offered. “I’ve been getting a little restless locked up in this tower.” 

“Sure. I could use some practice,” Steve said, walking over to Bucky and pulling him into a quick kiss. “Don’t hold back.” 

Steve threw the first punch suddenly. 

Bucky dodged following it up with a punch of his own. 

Steve tried to take out his legs, but Bucky grabbed Steve’s leg and flipped him. 

They continued moving about the gym each almost getting the upper hand on the other, but then losing it to the other. 

Steve lost the brawl, when he flipped Bucky onto a mat and Bucky decided to play dirty by kissing him and then pinned Steve to the mat. 

Sufficient to say, Steve didn’t mind.

They made out on the mat for a while, clothes coming off.

Natasha came in and cleared her throat when Bucky was trying to remove Steve’s pants. 

“This room isn’t for sex,” she said unimpressed by their actions, but her eyes roamed over their bodies appreciatively. “You have a whole floor to defile.”

Steve hopped up and grabbed his shirt, trying to cover himself, while Bucky slowly rose from the floor and found his shirt. 

“Fine, we’ll be on our way,” Bucky said, annoyed at the interruption. “Although I think you should know Sam implied we could.” 

Steve mouth dropped open in surprise and Natasha frowned slightly. 

“C’mon, Stevie.” Bucky grabbed Steve’s butt and led him out of the gym.

* * *

A while later after they’d given each other a handjob and blowjob respectfully, they laid in bed together.

“What ever happened to those kids from Sokovia Hydra had?” Bucky asked his arms and legs tangled together with Steve’s. 

They’re down in the cells and don’t want to cooperate. Apparently a Stark explosive killed their parents and now they hate Tony, and by extension the Avengers.”

“That’s a reasonable reason to hate Stark,” Bucky pointed out. “That’s why he hates me.” 

“Tony doesn’t hate you, he’s just not completely okay with seeing you right now.”

“I hope he doesn’t stay upset too long. I think this arm might need an upgrade some day.”

* * *

In the end, It took a month in order to convince Wanda and Pietro Maximoff to cooperate. 

They told them off a few places they’d heard Hydra talking about in their vicinity. 

After putting a tracking bracelet on both of them, they were allowed to help fight Hydra. They wanted to help after the Avengers showed them proof that Hydra had been the one stirring up trouble in the region. 

They became official Avengers a month after that and avoided Tony Stark at all cost. 

Tony Stark made a lot more money than he needed by selling his patented prosthetic arms and legs. 

He eventually was able to be in Bucky’s presence without feeling pain. 

Steve and Bucky continued to live in Avengers Tower and to love each other more than life itself. Eventually when they were ready they did more than just oral and hand stuff. 

Natasha is still looking and waiting for Bucky to be triggered and become the Winter Soldier. 

Sam Wilson is regaled by Steve and Bucky frequently about their relationship and he really doesn’t want to know.

Thor Odinson returned to Earth to find Steve and Bucky making out. He clapped them both on the back and hugged them, declaring them soul partners. 

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> The name of the song Steve and Bucky dance to is They Can't Take That Away From Me by Billie Holiday.
> 
> Also yes that was a nod to the Old Guard.
> 
> This was my first Stucky fic. How'd I do?
> 
> Leave kudos and comments please!


End file.
